the globalization of the culture

Bonjour, j'aurais besoin qu'on m'aide à améliorer mon texte par des expression sou des idées.

Matière / Niveau: anglais/terminale

Problème ou exercice: In your opinion, what are the consequences of the globalization of culture?

Où j'en suis: Voila ma réponse.
Since one decade, the creation of internet makes the globalization of culture increase. Developped countries sound to have more and more the same pace of life. What are the consequences of this globalization?
To begin, the consequences are mainly the unicity of culture. I think the american culture rules the other countries' culture. Nowadays, in school for example, students have often to learn English as their first foreign language. Indeed they must understand English to be able to communicate with others, in all countries. English is everywhere. This language becomes more and more present all around the world. Often, English is the only language in a notice of a television. A lot of English words are integrated in European languages.
Then, this globalization could have a positiv consequence. For example, in 1990s, people who choose to learn German decreased. But the globalization makes the transport of music, and the german language has been saved by german's group coming, which gave to students the tace of this language.
To finish, the globalization of culture makes the traditions diseapper. Indeed, people wants to be like people who live in developped countries. So they try to do like us. For example, the local architecture is being to desappear. the new buildings are made with no originality, made with the same plan. The plan of CBDs is the same when you are N-Y or Tokyo.

Voila. J'espère que vous pourrez m'aider. Si vous avez d'autres idées ...


Mes questions:

the creation of internet

Inversion manquante. Tu peux alléger la phrase.

the same pace of life

Inversion aussi. Tu utilises bien 'pace' pour vitesse?

unicity

Bon, je ne suis pas en désaccord avec le mot. Je le trouve peut être trop mathématique.

other countries' culture

Countries: pluriel, donc culture aussi.

in school

Pas faux, mais on utilise plus 'at' que 'in'.

This language becomes more and more present all around the world.

We're talking about something which is still ongoing. Progressive has to be used then.

Often, English is the only language in a notice of a television.

I don't get it, what do you want to say?

A lot of English words are integrated in European languages

Vrai et... Faux. En fait, ça marche un peu dans les deux sens dans le cas français-anglais. Certains mots d'origine latine se retrouvent en Anglais. Ces mots sont souvent utilisés pour des choses très formelles (demand par exemple).

Bon, je retourne à ma vie et je reviens à ton devoir. Globalement, il est pas mal.

Since one decade, the creation of internet makes the globalization of culture increase. Developped countries sound to have more and more the same pace of life. What are the consequences of this globalization?
To begin, the consequences are mainly the unity of culture. I think the american culture rules the other countries' cultures. Nowadays, at school for example, students have often to learn English as their first foreign language. Indeed they must understand English to be able to communicate with others, in all countries. English is everywhere. This language is becoming more and more present all around the world. Often, English is the only language in many everyday things, like an instruction of a television. A lot of English words are integrated in European languages.
Then, this globalization could have a positiv consequence. For example, in 1990s, people who choose to learn German decreased. But the globalization makes the transport of music, and the german language has been saved by german's group coming, which gave to students the tace of this language.
To finish, the globalization of culture makes the traditions diseapper. Indeed, people wants to be like people who live in developped countries. So they try to do like us. For example, the local architecture is being to desappear. the new buildings are made with no originality, made with the same plan. The plan of CBDs is the same when you are N-Y or Tokyo.

Après, j'ose pas mettre un génétif à "the creation of internet" et " pace of life", parce que la prof nous a dit que ça s'appliquait qu'aux personnes et endroits.
Le "pace of life" est pour "style de vie". C'était dans un texte étudié en cours.
Si vous avez d'autres idées...

Since one decade, the creation of internet makes the globalization of culture increase.

Si tu utilises 'since', tu dois utiliser ou le simple past ou le perfect.

J'ai pas le temps de relire le reste, là tout de suite. Mais, promis j'y reviendrais.

merci de m'avoir aidée. On a corrigé cette question en classe. La prof voulait nous faire passer au tableau, c'est pour ça que je voulais faire un bon devoir, mais finalement elle a changé d'avis. On a fait cette question en moins de 30 secondes!

Your teacher's a moron then!!!

This matter deserved more attention (at least, it does to me )